Regarding my previous post, I'm not satisfied with the way it came across. I need to clarify myself or it will bother me to no end. (Blame it on the fact that while I was writing, Matt had Fox News on and Sean Hannity was interviewing Carol Channing. The Broadway legend is a gem and it was a delightful interview, but I think her chatter made me unable to focus while I was writing. Yeah - that's it...it's HER fault! ha ha ha)
Nevertheless, I hate whining. I wasn't trying to sound whiney; I've just really struggled with the fact that I'm living in my house but can't enjoy it. The re-arranging of the rooms is not conducive to our family size, etc. Blah, blah blah -- I've already said what bothers me about it. What I really need is to grasp the fact that it's not about the structure itself, it's about what happens within the structure. It doesn't matter what color the walls are -- but rather, how am I speaking to my children? Is love evident within the home? When one of them accidently spills a drink or drops a bowl, what is my reaction? Do I yell, or do I assure them it's okay and help them clean up? Do I berate them for not doing a good-enough job cleaning, or do I come alongside them and show step-by-step how to do it to meet my expectations? Hmmmm, Rebecca -- which is it? Perhaps these are the factors that make a house a home, not the layout of the bedrooms or the amount of clutter on the counter. Perhaps this is one of the biggest lessons of all that the Lord is trying to instill in me. Those are things for me to ponder this weekend, and I realize now that I need to focus on what happens within our home and not on the home itself. Afterall, a family lives here. MY family. I need to be more like the woman in Proverbs 31 and less like the man who built his house on the sand.
"She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."
Prov. 31:26
I didn't find your previous post whiny at all. Although it is true that it is more important what occurs within the walls of your home, your situation would be frustrating for anyone! I feel your pain, as we were selling our home several years back. Trying to maintain constant cleanliness, having no clutter, etc.--this can wear on a person, Rebecca! I admire you, though, because you are constantly learning through these difficult situations, and sharing those lessons with me and others who read your blog. Hang tough...and seriously, sometimes we need to whine because it helps us get it off our chest and it can help us gain perspective. Email me anytime if you need a full-fledged private place to vent! I'm here for you!! Prayers and thoughts your way. Cynthia
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