Untethered

Blah. You know that feeling, don't you? Perhaps not; perhaps it is I alone who feels like I've sunk to the lowest realms of "blah". Somewhere, somehow I've allowed complacency and doubt to creep in and now, like a ruthless mold, it's spreading quickly. I'm grouchy. I snap at Matt over the smallest things; I am impatient with our kids all.the.time.; I've given in to my insatiable craving for junk food and gained two pounds. (ok, three.) Worst of all, my prayers seem cold and insincere. What is wrong with me????
A few weeks ago I wrote that I realized it was time to let go of the proverbial rope to which I was clinging for dear life. Now I wonder if I've grabbed the rope again and declared defeat over the fact that life has had to move forward despite our situation. It is SO HARD for me to surrender completely to Him. My life is in His hands, yet I keep trying to dictate how I think things should be. Why do I struggle with this so often? How many times must our merciful Lord rap his knuckles on my forehead and say, "hello, McFly...this is MY doing and MY plan. Be still and know that I AM GOD."
That's it, isn't it? I must be still and know that He is God...
BE STILL and KNOW that HE is GOD.
BE STILL: don't strive to make sense of it all. Don't try to fashion an ideal of how I think life should pan out.
BE STILL: do the next thing and don't worry about the future.
BE STILL: Wait. Rest. Trust.
BE STILL: Know that He is God.
The title for this post just seems right. I need to untether myself from those things I'm grasping for and allow myself to fall into His arms. Be still. Cease striving. Fear not.